Why do we have to go?
by HellomynameisK
Summary: What was Peeta feeling at the time of the reaping? Peeta's POV of the reaping


The reaping.

I had been counting down the days, till the dreaded day, where I could be reaped, placed in the arena to my death. It was okay for my brothers, when you hit 18, you weren't eligible for the reaping, they were safe, but I was 16, I wasn't safe.

I stood at the oven at the bakery, staring at the batches of cakes I had been baking for the day, where people would flock in, knowing there child had survived for another year, and celebrate, while 2 family's would take shelter in there homes and weep, and soon later, hear there child's screams as they died a grueling death, district twelve, never won.

I slowly took of my flour covered apron and hung it upon the hook, quickly washing my hands and taking the cakes out of the ovens, placing them on the granite countertop.

My dad creaked down the stairs, his back hunched and when he reached the last step, he let a smile take over his features which said, 'you will be okay son, it won't happen to you, it can't' although I didn't believe that, maybe the odds would not be in my favour.

I watched as my mum stampeded round the corner, flinging her oven gloves on the counter, running her hands through her hair, she walked over to the countertop and stared straight at me, "Are these all the cakes you have baked?" Giving a point at the cakes, she had a permanent frown fixed on her face, she probably hadn't smiled in years, and when she did, it was forced.

I quickly nodded to her, bowing my head, watching her scowl at me in a disgusted manner.

"How, peeta, are we going to make any business? Any money, when we have absolutely nothing to sell! Stop daydreaming, stupid boy!" She looked like she would slap me right then, right now, and the truth was, I had been lost in my thoughts, thinking about my friends, and even someone who I had never talked to.

Katniss Everdeen.

The girl who invaded my thoughts, every second of everyday, her relaxed features, acting like she never gave a care in the world, but was so strong and so powerful in what she believed in, I had loved her ever since I had first set my eyes on her stunning beauty.

But what really entranced me was her voice.

When she sang, even the birds stopped just to listen to her, she would get lost in her own mind, like she was thinking deep thoughts, she wasn't like other girls, she was so much better, so different.

Since that day, I knew I was a goner.

The way her dark braid flowed down her back, and the freckles sat on her nose, so natural, and she didn't even know.

I was scared that she would get reaped; she had more of a chance than me, her family was from the seam, they had probably gotten many terresae.

I finished baking the cakes and quickly ran back to my bedroom.

I grabbed a light blue cotton button down shirt, and black trousers, leaving my hair as it was, smoothing down the wrinkles of the collar.

I looked in the mirror, and saw a man, no, a boy, that looked like he might break down, but I had to be strong, but I still had the feeling that I was going to throw up everything in my stomach at any movement.

I had to be strong, like Dad said, it wouldn't be me, I would be okay, and tonight we would have a family dinner, with smiles and happiness, but it's hard when you face the guilt and sadness, that the person you saw walk past you in the street, will never return.

I slipped on my black dress shoes and laced them up, and quickly ran down the stairs, to a rather gloomy looking living room.

My 2 brothers were plastered on the sofa, looking like they might fall to sleep, Mum was pacing around, looking for some cooking ingredients, she naturally didn't care about us that much, she had always wanted a daughter, Dad was finishing doing up the buttons of his jacket, staring outside the window as he did, his face was clear of emotion.

I slowly but carefully walked to stand next to my dad and looked out the window with him, there was children and there family's, in there best clothes, gripping each other tightly, hoping for the best, slowly walking to the center of district 12.

I looked up to see my Dad staring down at me, a small smile etched on his features, slowly putting his arm around my shoulder, kissing a spot of my temple, "It'll be okay son, you won't get picked, I know you won't-"

"Of course he won't get picked, someone from the seam will get picked! Can't afford food for themselves, always have to scrabble through our bins, no decency, at least it's them not us." Mum interrupted standing next to us, arms carefully folded over her chest, letting out a huff of breath.

All I could do was look at her, in disgrace, me and Dad never said anything, I knew many friendly people in the seams, maybe some mean people, but I would never wish death on them, I would never wish anyone into the arena, not even my worst enemy's.

Me and my family set off to the town center, where the reaping would take place, and I looked around to see hundreds of sullen faces, grouped in ages, awaiting to see who's odds would not be in there favour.

I shivered; you could certainly feel the tension, I waltzed up to my father and he enveloped me in a strong hug, "Good luck son," I pulled back and nodded at him, turning to my oldest brothers,

"After the reaping you're making the celebration cake." Then he winked, setting off a few laughs from me, but they soon sounded forced and strained.

My other brother just nodded, "I totally agree" Then they gave me a bear hug.

Mum wasn't there, she was talking to others, and I sighed, and made my way to the boys of 16 years.

I squashed my self-in, and stood next to one of my school friends, Oliver, I put an arm round his shoulder and gave him a playful punch; he smiled at me and punched me back.

I looked around the center, and spotted katniss's friend Gale, he was quite tall, had grey eyes and black hair, and he was rumoured to be dating Katniss.

I could see why I had never spoke a word to him now.

I noticed him staring at something, _someone _intently, and followed his eyes as I saw Katniss standing in the girls section. Her hair was in a sweet side braid and she was wearing a light – blue dress, she looked worried and sad, I just wanted to go up to her and comfort her, but I knew I could not do that, she barley even knew I existed, If she saw me, would she know who I was? Probably not.

Seeing her made my worry go up a notch further, if she got picked, could I stand to see her fight in the arena? Could I watch and see her die? Without confessing my feelings? Or even talking to her?

I wouldn't be able to take it.

I stood and watched as Effie Trinket, her luminous wig shining from blocks away, her annoying capital accent going straight through you, her face smiled with glee, like sending people to there death was like finding the end of the rainbow.

There was 2 transparent circular bowls next to her, filled with hundreds of peoples names, I probably had about 10 slips of my name in there.

I watched as she announced that ladies were first, and I felt my fingers cross as I chanted in my head, _Not Katniss, Not Katniss!_

I watched, never blinking, as she dipped her hand in and grabbed a slip of paper.

_Not Katniss! Not Katniss!_

She held the slip of paper up to her face, the smile on her face frozen on her skin.

_Not Katniss!_

Time seemed to move in slow motion as her lips moved, announcing the name.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

Silence.

My heart stuttered, going at a mile a minute.

That was katniss's sister.

I felt sick in my veins, she doesn't deserve this, and she's just a child! Katniss can't live without her!

I felt sick; the Everdeen family would never be the same if primrose died.

Then my worst fears were seen right in front of my eyes, as Katniss came charging out of the crowd, her face was emotionless.

"I volunteer!" She shouted, "I volunteer as tribute!"

I could of dropped to the floor right then, but I stayed rooted, frozen in my spot.

I feel like someone had stabbed me right in the heart.

No one had ever volunteered before, she was volunteering for her death.

Effie began to murmur under her breath, but Mayor undersea, didn't care, saying, "What does it matter?" There was sadness in his voice, Katniss had sold him food long before, "Let her come forward!"

_No! Don't let her go forward!_

I look around to see Prim, gripping onto Katniss like it's her last breath, screaming and crying as she try's to get her to stay, but she's soon peeled off as Gale walks forward, taking prim and walks away, although there is deep pain in his eyes even he cannot hide.

I watched as I saw her walk slow and steadily up onto the stage, nobody applauded, nobody said a word, just stared in disgust, and sadness.

Effie continues her speech then places her hand into the boys bowl.

I squint my eyes, the tension to much that I feel sick.

"Peeta Mellark!"

My eyes fling open and I feel like I'm a walking corpse, without any sign, my legs begin to move onto the stage, and I feel everybody's eyes on me as they make me a path for me to walk through.

Yet again, no one says anything, but the difference is, no body calls my name, no body volunteers for me, I stand there and look to my left to see, Katniss staring at me, with sadness in her eyes.

I stare into her eyes, like I feel connected.

Why her? Why us?

The sad thing is, I will have to kill Katniss If I want to come back to District 12.

I will have to kill the girl I love.

That won't happen though, Katniss will be the one to come home, she will be the one to go back to her family, she will be the one to get out of the arena, she will be the one I will always love, forever and always.

We shake hands, and I know that my tears won't old any longer.


End file.
